Grumpy rant. Just for reference. No one needs to read this.

Unmotivated, underwhelmed, uninterested. Not going to sugar coat it. That's where I am today. I'm getting things done, but not really any extras.

 

I have a dyspneic/sick guinea hen.  Waiting for word back from my vet friend.  Treating Oakley's eye three times a day.  He gets oral meds twice a day. I need to recheck Rusty's beak.  Fern has worms, so I need to decide whether we treat the entire flock she came from, then we can't sell or eat any eggs for at least two weeks. No biggy really. If they do have worms like Fern then treatment will  improve their health and likely the number of eggs they will lay.

 

 

 

We buried Mr. Wedge and Miss Demeanor this weekend. The ground was finally thawed just enough.  Two examples of some farming mistakes.  They weren't supposed to die so young.  We will do better.

Multiple hens need coats on due to rooster treading. I'm totally annoyed that my sewing machine won't work and I can't fix the coats like I need to. Yet I have little motivation to call the company or search youtube to help troubleshoot. I normally love problem solving.  I think that after this hard winter, I'm just spent. I just really want things to be easy for a little bit!

Wishing I could just call up my friends Jen and Mark and we could spend a few hours at Boundary Bay back in BC. Too bad. No friends here. Any would likely fall short of my high expectations anyway.  Jen and Mark are two of the smartest, funniest and awesome people I know. And I suppose working together under some pretty stressful circumstances tends to create some bonds and trust.  I guess that's what I'm looking for.

 

I know I'll feel better later.  But this is going to keep coming up, I'm sure of it. I would just love to have some idea of what I can look forward to, and work towards.  I guess I should re-read a few of my earlier blog entries.  This in no way implies that I don't love our farm, our animals, and what we do here together. On a somewhat positive note, someone here has asked me to write a paper with her. We'll see if that happens. It's in her hands.

 

Eureka moment here. Just figured part of what the issue is. My visa status. Some stupid rules and lack of action on from G's company is leaving me in this horrible limbo and determining in part my present and my future. I'm supposed to be the one to direct my own life, not someone else. Expletives.

 

We're expecting a crazy winter storm system and possibly a huge amount of snow with it.  I may have to skip TRC on Friday.  G leaves for Vancouver on Sunday I think.  I'll have a lot of time to think about things, and lots of wool to spin.

 

 



Sometimes you're just moulting and you feel like crap for a while, but it won't last forever.

 
 
 

Sometimes you find patches of grass to find your way through.

 

 

 

Sometimes people treat you poorly, and discount you.

But sometimes you find love, to the power of 1 million.